Comrades in Great Game of posing and pocket-filling



22:42 GMT, 28 November 2012

AS watery sun rises on the day MPs will condemn free speech – to be taken from this place and tortured by wigged scriveners until its neck is broken and the body quite cold – you will, I hope, excuse a diseased squint at our false, thieving Commons.

There may not be long left when one can publish such views without being pushed behind iron bars by Leveson clones.

The Blob stands on the cusp of vindictive supremacy over those who held a looking-glass to its gargoyled countenance. It is 200 years since William Cobbett was in prison yet it might as well be 200 hours.

Condemned: Will David Cameron stand against free speech

Condemned: Will David Cameron stand against free speech

Journalist Cobbett wrote witheringly about an elite which incurred debt and was as raddled by corruption as a harlot by her pox. Slam went the cell door on Cobbett’s too-loose tongue. He called Britain’s Establishment ‘The Thing’. Little has changed.

Yesterday, shortly before noon, the House awaited Prime Minister’s Questions. Welsh Questions was in progress. Few listened. Maggots worming through dung have little notion of any sentient being but themselves. So it is at the manure heap of modern Westminster. They claim to pursue the greater good. What rot. They are here for their narrow ambitions. Political philosophy is as rare as a French lorry driver’s steak.

Unemployment: Mr Miliband attacked the Government's efforts to create jobs in PMQs today.

Unemployment: Mr Miliband attacked the Government's efforts to create jobs in PMQs today.

So-called opponents gassed to one another – opponents in name but comrades in the Great Game of posing and pocket-filling. Mr Speaker weakly called for order. No one heeded him. Speaker Bercow has proved himself an inadequate gumboil. When the House chose him it chose well, at least, in the sense of selecting one typical of its greasing ways.

The Prime Minister, his fringe fresh-trimmed to prettify him in a TV camera’s lens, paused moistly to utter scripted words of sympathy to victims of the floods. They were delivered with all the sincerity of an in-flight drinks announcement. The Leader of the Opposition echoed his words. Of course. One must never be upstaged in empathy. Apply facial variation 4B: a corrugation of the brow, accompanied by a flexing of the jaw and a bite on lower lip. Blair was the bogus master at this.

Mr Miliband, so long-winded nowadays that he continues almost until halfway through PMQs, attacked the Government’s efforts to create jobs. Unemployment has in fact fallen – amazingly so – but Mr Miliband found some clever reason to cavil.

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Messrs Cameron and Miliband are hardly more different than a golfer’s four-iron from his five. Both men uttered these sympathies not because they believed they would bring the smallest comfort to the flooded. They did so because they wanted to make themselves look good.

Most of the jobs being made in Britain at present are done so despite politicians. Yet here we had Mr Miliband moaning that more of our tax money was not being spent on state handouts.

PM and Opposition leader shouted at one another. You would have thought that their vehemence was genuine. However, within seconds of resuming his seat, Mr Miliband was happily exchanging a joke across the table with George Osborne. So all that indignation had been a front.

Still the tumult raged, Labour’s Harriet Harman joining in the hurrahs and heckles even while she was checking her mobile telephone for messages.

Outrage by auto-pilot. Derek Twigg (Lab, Halton) complained about job losses in Runcorn. Gemma Doyle (Lab, W Dunbartonshire) had a bleat about the 50p tax rate which Gordon Brown (absent again) introduced only as a political stunt. Caroline Noakes (Con, Romsey) mentioned some internet scam. I know. Let’s have an inquiry into that next!

Did none of them give us a glimpse of such a thing as Liberty Well, Philip Davies (Con, Shipley) spoke up for an unshackled Press. No wonder the BBC hates him. Liam Fox (Con, Woodspring) also defended free speech. And Jake Berry (Con, Rossendale) criticised the de-moralising scandal of over-generous welfare payments. A man prepared to question the edifice of fiscal patronage! Careful, Jake, or they’ll do you in next.