Dave sees red at Arrows 'axe'

Black Dog


22:25 GMT, 2 February 2013



01:41 GMT, 3 February 2013

A sense of humour can be a dangerous thing, David Cameron learned after teasing hacks on board his plane during his North Africa tour.

Rebuking one paper for claiming the SAS faced the chop, he said: ‘It’s total rot. I suppose tomorrow there’ll be a headline Red Arrows To Be Scrapped and the day after, Trooping The Colour Abandoned.’

Sure enough, when he landed in the UK yesterday, one front page screamed: Red Arrows Face Axe. Sighed Dave: ‘I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.’

Dismayed: David Cameron's joke about the Red Arrows backfired, leaving him not knowing whether to laugh or cry

Dismayed: David Cameron's joke about the Red Arrows backfired, leaving him not knowing whether to laugh or cry


Would-be Prime Minister Adam Afriyie, exposed for plotting to succeed David Cameron, is not the first Windsor Tory MP to be caught out by this newspaper.

Ten years ago, his predecessor Michael Trend was forced to quit after we revealed how he fiddled 90,000 expenses on a non-existent ‘second home’.

When Tory chiefs in Royal Windsor discover the full extent of their current MP’s political treachery, Afriyie’s prospects may be on a similar downward trend.


Grant divorced from gay marriage duty

Hapless: Helen Grant

Hapless: Helen Grant

Hapless Equalities Minister Helen Grant may be humiliatingly stripped of a starring role in this week’s Commons debate on gay marriage – with ex-Life Guards officer Hugh Robertson, the Sports Minister, replacing her.

Dog hears Mrs Grant, left, was due to make the closing speech in favour of the marriage plan. But that was before she apparently voted the wrong way in one Commons division and then did not take part in a crunch vote on boundary changes.

‘Hugh may be stronger on the Olympics than gays getting spliced but we need a safe pair of hands,’ snarled one Tory insider.


David Cameron inadvertently played matchmaker between his would-be political nemesis Adam Afriyie and his second wife, Tracy-Jane.

They met at the Policy Exchange think-tank, where Cameron launched his leadership bid in 2005. According to a Tory policy wonk, Tracy-Jane, formerly married to Kit Malthouse – Boris Johnson’s tubby deputy at London’s City Hall – and Adam ‘couldn’t leave each other alone’.


Now it's Orange Ed

A night of unbridled jubilation for Ed Miliband’s troops after the Tory defeat over parliamentary boundary changes came to a climax when the party leader himself joined the party in Strangers’ Bar. ‘Right!’ said the ruddy-faced Labour MP in the chair.

‘That’ll be six double whiskies, five pints of best, two brandies and Ed, what you ’avin’’ ‘Oh, a Britvic orange, please,’ ventured Red Ed, lamely, prompting groans all round. Make that a double Appletiser if he ever gets into No 10.


Whippersnapper Tory Minister Matt Hancock, renowned for his acid one-line put-downs, plays a key role in David Cameron’s ‘prep’ sessions for his weekly 30-minute ordeal at Prime Minister’s Questions.

When Cameron was goaded by Labour over Tory ‘stalking horse’ Adam Afriyie, his witty comeback – ‘the Tories have always stood for people who want to get on’ – was supplied by Hancock. ‘Matt is so cocky, he’ll start calling it Hancock’s Half Hour soon,’ said a No 10 aide.