EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Andrew Marr is in purrrfect working order…



22:38 GMT, 28 November 2012

Sir Cliff Richard, 72, hopes to record with the late Elvis Presley from beyond the grave, saying: ‘Outside America, it was always Elvis and Cliff.

I came second to him many times and there were times when I was able to compete with his success. I want to record an album with him. With the technology we have these days it’s very feasible. I’ve already got the album sleeve ready, “Cliff & Elvis.” All we need to do is pick the songs. I’m ready to go, but I can’t get the go-ahead from the Elvis estate.’ Perhaps it’s the album title. Wouldn’t they be happier with Elvis & Cliff

Andrew Marr arrived at the Great Scots award in his father's tartan kilt

Andrew Marr arrived at the Great Scots award in his father's tartan kilt

BBC star Andrew Marr a Great Scot awards winner at the restaurant Boisdale in Canary Wharf, arrived at the event in his father’s predominantly-red, Cameron of Lochiel tartan kilt. Asked by a saucy fellow guest if anything was worn under it, he gave the traditional reply, ‘Och No, madam, it’s all in purrrfect working order.’ My apologies!

Sensitive, delicate Labour MP and ex-culture secretary Ben Bradshaw complains: ‘Urine seems to be pouring through the ceiling into my Commons office for the second day running!’ Who is raining on Ben’s parade

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Although rumoured to be ill – he’s looking thinner on a vegan diet – former US president Bill Clinton has signed up to play golf at Donald Trump’s new resort in sun-drenched Aberdeenshire next summer. Naturally The Donald is cock-a-hoop. Bill’s the biggest name he’s roped in so far. And why would Bill agree after barmy Trump suggested Americans should march on Washington to protest against Barack Obama’s win in the November 6 presidential election Clinton campaigning for Obama was considered decisive. Do you suppose Bill’s being paid to show up

Game of Thrones star Jamie Sives reminisced at a dinner about his student days in Glasgow, saying his only recreations were jogging or pleasuring himself during Lorraine Kelly’s ITV breakfast show. Mercifully Ms Kelly, thanks to her 4am start, had left the event and didn’t hear the uncalled-for reminiscence.

Guitarist Eric Clapton is due to join The Rolling Stones during their show at London’s O2 Arena tonight. He might have become a full-time member when Mick Taylor resigned in 1974. But the job went to Ronnie Wood, who recalled in his 2007 memoirs: ‘Eric said to me, “I’m a much better guitarist than you.”’ Wood responded: ‘I know that but you’ve got to live with these guys as well as play with them. There’s no way you can do that.’ Why not My source says: ‘Eric had already had a dangerous spell of drug addiction by that stage. Taking up with Keith Richards could easily have finished him off! Ronnie Wood prided himself on having a more battle-hardened constitution.’ They prance like scented ladyboys but talk as if they were at war.