Order! Order! Get your bottle of ‘Warrington-made Speaker Bercow Vodka'



23:51 GMT, 13 December 2012

The House of Commons gift shop is now selling ‘Warrington-made Speaker Bercow Vodka’, for 19. They’ve offered a single malt whisky under the incumbent Speaker’s name for years. But this is the first time a vodka has been established in the office-holder’s honour. How about Mr and Mrs Speaker Bercow dolls, with one saying ‘Order! Order!’ and the other wriggling naked inside in a sheet

Cheers! Speaker Bercow is the first office-holder to have a vodka established in his honour

Cheers! Speaker Bercow is the first office-holder to have a vodka established in his honour

When Fred Goodwin was awarded a pension fund of 16million after his departure from RBS in 2009, the Sun, then edited by Rebekah Brooks, demanded that the ‘bungling banker’ hand the money back. Goodwin subsequently agreed to a reduction from 555,000 a year to 342,000. Will News Corporation’s shareholders make a similar demand over the 10.8 million Mrs Brooks was awarded for ‘loss of office’

Why is Leicester’s publicity-prone Labour MP Keith Vaz acting as official spokesman for the family of the dead King Edward VII nurse Jacintha Saldanha Their constituency MP is Tory Charlotte Leslie, whose office tells me: ‘They’re working together.’ Meaning (I presume) that Vaz has taken over and Ms Leslie is making the best of it.

Labour MP Tom Clarke is a zealous member of the Commons Standards and Privileges Committee which recently drove a stake through the heart of europhile colleague Denis McShane’s career, following his larcenous expenses claims. Adding insult to injury, Clarke says a Labour comrade ‘has now moved into Denis’s rather plush Commons office’. It’s everyone for themselves in the Palace of Westminster rat race.

Apropos plush political perches, Deputy PM Nick Clegg has nabbed the grand office of his Lib Dem colleague, Scottish Secretary Michael Moore. A Clegg spokesman says: ‘The Scottish Secretary will still have a very good office.’ Whether either will need a grand office for much longer is another matter.

Hard-to-read novelist Salman Rushdie says he’s won a fight with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, explaining, ‘On my passport it says Ahmed Salman Rushdie, and Facebook suddenly decided I should be called Ahmed Rushdie, which nobody in my life has ever called me except my mother, when she was cross. So I went on Twitter and said, “Look what ******g Zuckerberg’s done”, and within a couple of hours – boom – it was fixed.’ Once he was in hiding, now he’s bitching about his Facebook name. Isn’t life grand

Legendary parliamentary reporter Chris Moncrieff, now 81, says he once rang the King Edward VII Hospital – scene of the hoaxed nurse tragedy – asking the condition of the then Tory premier, Harold Macmillan. He recalls: ‘There was a brief pause, then I heard a gruff voice saying “Yes” They’d put me through to the great man himself. So I asked how he felt. He said, “I was fine until you ruddy well woke me up”.’