Pippa gets to the bottom of sitting down
23:25 GMT, 5 December 2012
NEXT YEAR'S NEWS TODAY (PART 1)
Delighted: Former Radio 1 disc-jockey Chris Moyles stars in pantomime at the Regis Theatre, Staines
Former Radio 1 disc-jockey Chris Moyles stars in pantomime at the Regis Theatre, Staines.
‘Chris is absolutely delighted,’ says top PR Max Clifford. ‘Ali Baba And The Forty Thieves is one of the key plays in the theatrical canon, and for any actor the role of the 22nd thief represents a major challenge.’
Other celebrities in panto this year include Abu Hamza and Abu Qatada as the Ugly Sisters at the Theatre Royal, Slough, Gordon Brown as Baron Hardup in Aladdin at the Ipswich Regent, and Sally Bercow in the title role of Mother Goose at the Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford.
Pippa Middleton launches her new book ‘Sit! A Year Of British Sitting For Families And Friends’, full of intensely personal ideas and tips on how to sit.
‘I have always loved standing,’ Pippa reveals in her introduction. ‘But I also love to sit. And that’s why I want to share all my best sitting tips with you!’
Lavishly illustrated with photographs of Pippa sitting on a selection of arm-chairs, kitchen chairs, rugs, bean-bags, sofas and stools, Sit! is full of fascinating suggestions on exactly when to sit — and how. Pippa’s top tips include:
‘I always like to sit if I don’t feel like standing — though standing can also be great fun!’
‘If you get fed up with sitting, then why not try what I call “lying down” It’s perfect for when you feel like going to sleep. It’s even easier than sitting — and just as much fun!’‘One of the best ways to sit is to bend your legs at the knee, so that the top half of your legs ends up at right-angles to the bottom half of your legs. But be sure to have a chair ready — or you might fall over!!’
Pippa Middleton launches her new book 'Sit! A Year Of British Sitting For Families And Friends', full of intensely personal ideas and tips on how to sit
It has already been announced that a third how-to book by Pippa, Collapse! A Year Of British Falling Over For Family And Friends, is to be published for Christmas.
Prime Minister David Cameron announces an inquiry to look into the whole question of whether there are now too many inquiries.
‘In recent years, there have been far too many inquiries, all of them dragging on and on,’ he announces to a packed House of Commons. ‘So to stop this whole inquiry business getting out of hand, I am setting up a top-level inquiry, ready to report back to the House no later than March 2016. OK, fair enough, make that March 2017, very well, March 2018.’
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Stella McCartney designs a dress that fits someone and looks reasonably good on.
‘This represents a major fashion breakthrough for Stella,’ says top PR Max Clifford.
‘Up to now, most of her designs have been made with the short-sighted in mind, but this gives her a golden opportunity to expand her market to those who can see properly — just as long as they’re not too picky.’
Following the disappearance of Sandy Island, known as ‘the Pacific Island that Never Was’, geologists have reported another loss. ‘For many years, millions of us believed that there was once a Prime Minister called “Tony Blair”,’ concludes a far-reaching report.
‘But we can find no trace that he ever existed. We must now accept that he was a mirage. We put it down to human error.’
Tony Hall, the new director-general of the BBC, announces a new channel, BBC5, which will be entirely dedicated to news and debate about the BBC, with in-depth analysis of all the latest disasters and dismissals.
The jewel in the crown of BBC5 is the weekly Your Forthcoming Resignation Will Come As No Surprise, in which John Humphrys interrogates a soon-to-be-dismissed senior executive, and the senior executive remains in his job for no longer than 20 minutes.
Last year, the Prime Minister and the Archbishop of Canterbury both took to tweeting and now the Queen has joined in, too.
Her first tweet @QueenUK was ‘Still ruling :).’ There was then a gap of two days before she tweeted: ‘Loving the crowds at official opening of town hall extension in Birmingham — totally brill.’
But now that she has got the bug, she is on Twitter in most of her spare time. Tweets in the past few hours include: ‘Luv 2 all my subjects,’ and: ‘Wmbldn total bore this year — Y can’t they play tennis on horseback for a chnge’