Hotpants for Ms Harman, an abacus for Ed Balls – and a burka for Sally Bercow

Hotpants for Ms Harman, an abacus for Ed Balls — and a burka for Sally Bercow | UPDATED: 00:43 GMT, 24 December 2012 QUENTIN LETTS hands out his celebrity Xmas presents Last-minute Christmas shopping — it’s such a nightmare, isn’t it What on earth can you buy the celebrities who seem to have everything Our brilliant sketchwriter Quentin Letts has a few suggestions . . .

He"s gone all American. Guys, it"s where the money is

He's gone all American. Guys, it's where the money is By Quentin Letts PUBLISHED: 00:03 GMT, 19 December 2012 | UPDATED: 00:03 GMT, 19 December 2012 Since Sunset Boulevard’s Norma Desmond, and surely before, old thesps have found it agony to retire. They have dreamed of reviving their glory years, of delighting once more their past, adoring public – only to find that the magic has vanished like morning’s gossamer.

Welcome to the Cabinet, Maam, be prepared for party squabbling

Welcome to the Cabinet, Ma’am, be prepared for party squabbling By Quentin Letts PUBLISHED: 23:29 GMT, 17 December 2012 | UPDATED: 23:29 GMT, 17 December 2012 TODAY the Queen will attend Cabinet – the first time she has done so in her 60-year reign. The visit, at the invitation of David Cameron, is to mark her Diamond Jubilee

Tory MP who thanks God hes still alive

Tory MP who thanks God he’s still alive By Quentin Letts PUBLISHED: 22:34 GMT, 14 December 2012 | UPDATED: 00:05 GMT, 15 December 2012 Anglican faith: Previously a sporadic churchgoer, Mr Opperman has become an 'enthusiastic' member of the Church of England A backbench MP has undergone a religious transformation after recovering from a brain tumour. Guy Opperman (Con, Hexham), 47, was taken ill last year and told that even if he lived he might lose his speech, his eyesight and be paralysed

By "eck, Gromit, mocking politicians isn"t just fun – it"s essential

By 'eck, Gromit, mocking politicians isn't just fun – it's essential By Quentin Letts PUBLISHED: 23:47 GMT, 12 December 2012 | UPDATED: 07:50 GMT, 13 December 2012 Besmirched: The country was encouraged to see former Prime Minister Major as a prize goose during the 1997 general election Some people say that John Major had no chance of winning the 1997 general election once the ‘back to basics’ sex scandals erupted. But is that right The economy was doing well

New bishops eulogy to sheep-pickler Hirst

New bishop’s eulogy to sheep-pickler Hirst By Quentin Letts PUBLISHED: 22:11 GMT, 30 November 2012 | UPDATED: 22:11 GMT, 30 November 2012 Those of us who think Damien Hirst’s art derivative, coarse, self-centred, puerile, scatalogical, manipulative, cruel, opportunistic, over-priced, anti-intellectual and, in those and many other respects, anti-Christian, decadent drivel, are plainly wrong. Hirst is an agent of Jesus Christ, a man of ‘substance’ whose ‘exquisite’ work draws us to a contemplation of Heaven. So, anyway, says the new Bishop Of Chichester

Lord Patten and Tory MP Philip Davies: Mongoose v snake – this contest was as thrilling as I"ve seen

Mongoose v snake … this contest was as thrilling as I’ve seen | UPDATED: 08:26 GMT, 28 November 2012 Rudyard Kipling wrote a Raj story about a mongoose fighting a cobra. I thought of that pulsating tale while watching BBC chairman Lord Patten thrash in the dust with Tory MP Philip Davies (Shipley).