The good ship 'Tory Party' is finished – please keep calm and head for the lifeboats

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UPDATED:

00:01 GMT, 2 December 2012


Hijab: Respect candidate Yvonne Ridley after the declaration at the Rotherham by-election count

Hijab: Respect candidate Yvonne Ridley after the declaration at the Rotherham by-election count

It is quite clear to any thinking person that the Tory Party is now a corpse. Any idea that David Cameron could or would revive it must have died at the Rotherham by-election.

This astonishing result must surely be the most humiliating treatment of a major political party in modern history.

The ‘Conservative’ candidate came fifth. He was beaten by Labour, which is reasonable. But he was also shoved aside by three other organisations.

The first was UKIP, the Dad’s Army of politics; the second was the BNP, that care home for the incurably stupid and nasty; and the third was George Galloway’s Respect.

Their candidate was Yvonne Ridley, a former journalist who converted to Islam after she was held hostage by the Taliban.

I quite like her in a way, but she can hardly be said to be part of the mainstream, especially since she adopted her adventurous version of the hijab.

If I were the candidate of a national party beaten by Yvonne in a by- election, I would go into hiding.

I don’t think this comical failure can be dismissed as a mid-term blip. I think this is the moment at which it became obvious that, in the North of England, where Tory MPs used to abound, people have noticed what many in the South have yet to see.

Warning: The Tory's humiliating performance in the Rotherham by-election showed David Cameron's party has decayed

Warning: The Tory's humiliating performance in the Rotherham by-election showed David Cameron's party has decayed

They have realised Mr Slippery’s
Party has decayed so much that the best place for it is the nearest
skip. No amount of paint, glue, sparkle or varnish will ever make it
look good again.

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Tory insiders know this too. They
know that the true party membership is falling faster than Jimmy
Savile’s reputation, that without cheques from dodgy millionaires it
would long ago have gone into receivership.

On
top of that it has come to stand, in many people’s minds, for
concreting over the countryside, unrestrained mass immigration, terrible
state schools, being nice to criminals, starting foreign wars in places
where we have no business to be, and high taxes.

Of
course, there are people who think all these things are wonderful. But
they already have two political parties on their side, and so there’s
no earthly point in them voting Tory.

This is what comes of punishing your friends and rewarding your enemies, year after year after year.

In Rotherham, you get fewer votes than Yvonne Ridley and her hijab. You barely get 1,000 votes in the whole of Middlesbrough. And even in Croydon North you get only 16 per cent of the vote.

Now, I did tell you all this some time ago, when far too many of you were swooning into the arms of Mr Slippery. Well, look what you got for that. He couldn’t win last time, even aided by the wave of hate he created against Gordon Brown.

He certainly can’t win next time. /12/01/article-2241495-1646D1A5000005DC-271_468x498.jpg” width=”468″ height=”498″ alt=”Getting his way: Mick Jagger has helped usher in an era where codes and restrictions on behaviour have gone” class=”blkBorder” />

Getting his way: Mick Jagger has helped usher in an era where codes and restrictions on behaviour have gone

‘They want to be free and have the right of expression, of thinking and living without any petty restrictions.’

Well, he got his way. The codes and petty restrictions have all gone. We’re all free now, whether we want to be or not.

It’s Mr Jagger and the rockocracy who dominate our thinking.

These occasions, when pensioners struggle into denims and pay hundreds of pounds to be made even deafer than they already are, are not concerts.

If you really want to listen to this stuff, it sounds a lot better on headphones.

They are partly celebrations of a kind of pagan cult of eternal youth, by which you may be bald and have a bulging gut, but your brain stays teenaged; and they are partly political rallies for the cause of self-worship.
Anyway, I hate them.

Wow Kate, your hair's exactly the same!

The sexual revolution only works one way. I’ve no doubt women can be bishops, but men will never understand fashion.

The Duchess of Cambridge’s hair looks exactly the same as it did last week. What’s the fuss about

Fuss over nothing: Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, apparently has a new hairstyle

Fuss over nothing: Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, apparently has a new hairstyle

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Of course former SAS man Danny Nightingale should never have been charged, let alone locked up for his accidental possession of a gun.

He was a victim of our law’s wild unthinking frenzy against guns, a miserable substitute for the moral counter-revolution we really need.

Before 1914, anyone in this country could legally buy a gun and ammunition in a hardware shop. It was quite safe because we knew how to behave.

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All that needs to be said about the Leveson Report, and its threat to the freedom of newspapers, is this: the Government and the courts do worse things to people, every day, than the press has ever done to anybody.

In most cases, the victims of this indifference and injustice have nowhere to turn, except the press.

Politicians aren’t interested in protecting the McCanns or the Dowlers. They are interested in protecting themselves, and these people provide them with the pretext.

Besides, Alastair Campbell, the man who bamboozled this country into the stupidest war in its history, likes Leveson.

That should be a hint, if nothing else is.