You've been ad! The daft spoof small ads one joker put up in shop windows
07:43 GMT, 28 November 2012
Normally these little cards advertise everything from second-hand cars to baby-sitters, cleaners, kittens and rabbits.
But the ones created by 46-year-old Preston Likely were designed for a laugh and to see whether anyone would reply in similar humorous vein.
After two years and 70 small ads, placed in shop windows throughout England, he has just published a book containing his best spoofs.
Not likely: A volunteer needed to act as a scarecrow in Didcot, Oxfordshire. It specifies no time-wasters
Time to pick a pocket or two The course on offer in this advert will have you coming back for more. And the price is a steal
Preston's favourites are one for a driving school which promises to teach learners how to cut up other drivers and use their mobile phones while eating a sandwich, and another card offering massage services.
'A person inquired about the “extras” that were on offer,' he said. 'I told him it was blind man's buff, juggling and worshipping the moon.'
The advert for a lost box of matches also drew a reply: 'The chap said I'd never find them now because they would have been cleared up by the road sweepers.'
Preston was even contacted by someone excited at the prospect of being a scarecrow.
'He thought that it would be cool,' said Preston. 'I had to let him down gently.'
Man about a dog: Sounds like a pet owner was let off his leash and ran off
Keep an eye out: Preston Likely posted this ad, calling for paranoid people to come forward
Have a heart: Would you consider donating your soul to someone urgently in need of a soul transport
It could be you: A Lottery winner advertises for a help at home. Would you fit the bill
Talk to the animals: Do you miss your dearly-beloved pet who passed away Why not go along to an animal seance
Needle in a haystack: This appeal went out because Mr Likely had lost a box of matches, apparently
Smile please: The happiest day of your life – the day you get your divorce – is a time to celebrate, according to this ad
Missing: If you're an illegal immigrant you might need some accommodation. This spoof ad says it can help
Milking it: A cow needs a cow and Preston Likely needs to find someone who'll take it in, apparently
These ads were brought together in a new book 'Amuse Agents: When Small Ads Go Bad' – a collection of Preston Likely's funniest advertisements placed in shop windows around England
* Amuse Agents: When Small Ads Go Bad (Summersdale, 7.99).